Thank you Mistress
My mistress and I have what we’ve referred to as a play-based relationship, but it is online-based and we do each have our own lives, plus a not-insignificant time zone difference (although this difference should become less of a problem in a few months.) So a key component of our play is daily tasks she has assigned for me. I have been greatly pleased—and incredibly turned on—by the types of tasks and the variety that mistress has assigned to me. Some are fairly short and simple, especially since I noted that some of the tasks can be tiring for me, physically and mentally, but many are incredibly devious, often involving chance. I’m so proud to have such a mistress :).
So I’m still trying to figure out how to divide these posts up. I’m thinking of trying to do a daily post of some sort, especially since it turns out my mistress really enjoys them. I think most of them will probably be some kind of recap of highlights of the day and/or the day before. Thus far mistress has post a series of tasks for me to perform over the next portion of the week. There is one task a day; most tasks can be chosen by me for which day I want to do them on (which actually kind of leads to an interesting dynamic of trying to weigh my odds as to how tough each task is going to be and how to put them together in a way I would want to manage, while also hopefully pleasing mistress), other tasks are set for specific days. To catch up, I’m going to post a summary of this week’s tasks thus far and the results of each. I’m debating whether or not I want to post the rest of the tasks that have already been assigned (I now have a second set) and then post daily results, or just post each task one at a time as they happen. Either way, farther posts on results ought to be more detailed; for now it’s just a summary. For this post I will go ahead and recap scenes that have happened as well.
Scene #1 (Wednesday)
So for our first actual online text chat, we eventually worked our way into a scene. I was to masturbate and stay fairly close to the edge for a hard cap of about 30 minutes (though this was, on purpose, not exact.) I could look at whatever porn I wanted during this time. Anytime she messaged me, I was to check in; failure to do so would mean continuing to edge but no orgasm for the day. There were also rules about having to do edges for tomorrow, but in the end, it turned out that this particular part didn’t end up having a significant risk of failing. Oh well. Anyway, about 5-10 minutes before the end, mistress would tell me to get really close, at which point I was to really ride that edge. At some point in that window, I would be told to cum. Originally, I had 30 seconds to cum. Beforehand, she asked me if I thought that was too little of time and if I should have 60 seconds instead—I suspected it would be enough, but instead of saying that, I said that I thought I had an answer but would rather mistress decide. She was very pleased with that, so she allowed me one minute.
So that’s what we did. Basically, everything went as planned and I never failed to check in. I don’t remember how long it went on but it was for a bit. Long story short, I was eventually told to cum. I think it took me about 10 seconds. Afterward we decided the next time most suitable for a full play session would be the following Tuesday.
Task #1 (Done on Thursday)
My first actual task I did (this is also the day I received said tasks). I was to roll two dice and multiply the numbers together and then perform that many edges. To keep things from getting too difficult, if I rolled a 5 or a 6, I could reroll both dice, and the max number of edges I had to do was 16. There was no minimum limit, so 1x1 would count, but our planned session for Tuesday will have my orgasm in mistress’ hand (only figuratively, unfortunately), so it is in my best interest to please her leading up until then. So rerolling for a higher number was okay, although naturally I wouldn’t be allowed to go back to a lower number after a reroll. Anyway, at the end of doing those edges, I was to flip a coin. Heads, I could cum. Tails, I could not.
I rolled the dice and got 2 and 2. So I did the four edges, plus one more. I flipped a coin, it landed as tails. So I did not cum.
Scene #2 (Thursday)
This was kind of an impromptu thing during a planned chat, but we were both in the mood to play. Mistress had me put clothespins on my nipples. She basically instructed me on playing with the clothespins, and slowly rubbing my hand up and down my chest, stomach, down to the waistband of my shorts, etc. I was to use my imagination to picture that this was mistress doing all of this, teasing me. It was fairly effective when I closed my eyes. It wasn’t as much of a turn on as much as it just felt sensual, which was enjoyable. This eventually did turn into being allowed to very teasingly touch my cock. This all went on for quite a bit. I enjoyed myself, but I kind of suspect mistress enjoyed it slightly more :).
To my surprise, I was suddenly told that I had two minutes to cum. I was quite surprised since I had came the night before and had resigned to not cumming this night due to the results of the day’s task. So off I went; I ended up cumming in a little over a minute. The thing is, I was totally unprepared and I had nothing to make a mess into, so I used my hand…but it was a powerful enough orgasm to not really be able to be contained in my hand. Oh well, lol. Mistress suggested as an option that I give it a lick, since we discussed the possibility of incorporating cum eating, but I wasn’t ready for that yet (and I had already started cleaning up anyway.)
Task #2 (Friday)
This task focused on staying on the edge. I was to stay on the edge for 10 minutes. After that, once I felt like I’d go crazy, I was to roll a die. If I got a 6, I could cum. Anything else and I couldn’t cum or even touch myself for the rest of the day. To my utter surprise, I rolled a 6. So I once more came into my hand, though this time it was intentional. Once more, it didn’t fit into my hand well. Anyway, this was my third night in a row having an orgasm, which I knew would not be pleasing to mistress. After having thought about the unlikely possibility of cumming all day, I had tentatively decided to try licking my cum. So I gave it a lick. I’ll admit, it didn’t taste very good. But I did it again and then decided I had enough of that and cleaned myself up. Though with that said, kudos to all the men and women out there willing to clean up after their men (and I guess possibly themselves) :).
As a detailed in another post, Saturday was a “free day,” but since I’d been so lucky between my mistress and task #2 with my orgasms, the night before I had asked mistress to not let me cum. To say she was happy to oblige would be an understatement. I woke up to some really sexy texts from mistress, and that really got me rock hard and I masturbated a lot. I went to work, which turns out to be pretty effective for killing my sex drive, but as soon as I got home I started getting worked up again. There was quite a bit of touching myself that night. Never cumming of course, marking the first night since giving up my orgasms to mistress that I didn’t cum.
Task #3 (Sunday/today)
This task had me watching a jerk-off instruction video or audio of my choice and following its instructions, except for being allowed to cum if it allowed it. Then when I felt like bursting, I was to roll a die. A 1 meant I got to cum. A 2 meant watching another JOI video/audio at least 5 minutes long, and then getting to cum, although mistress and I agreed to change this to not cumming. Everything else meant not cumming. However, we planned on chatting at night and I had the idea to time it so I’d be rolling the die when mistress got online. She pointed out the die was for when she couldn’t make the decision, so we agreed she would make the choice instead.
It turned out however that we got to chat much earlier in the day and decided to do the JOI task then. She warmed me up with her own tease fantasy (which actually ended up being better than the JOI video I watched), and then we both watched the video at the same time so she could see what I would be seeing. The ending for all of this actually ended up not going so well for certain reasons, which will be the subject for another post, but the important part for the purposes of this post is that I did not cum.
And this is where I am now. Over two days now without cumming, sitting here with a dull ache in my balls. Unfortunately I’ve been too tired to play with myself more, but I’m definitely feeling it more and more.
Task #4 (Monday/tomorrow)
Task #4 was added because me and mistress both didn’t count the number of days we had correctly, lol, So because it was impromptu, the task is simple: no touching. Which obviously means, no cumming. I originally deliberately chose this order because I had little chance of cumming on Sunday, no chance on Monday, and it’s mistress’ decision on Tuesday. And ultimately I didn’t cum on Saturday, my free day, either. So assuming I didn’t cum on Sunday (which I didn’t), that’s going to be about 3-4 days being denied. With no guarantee of cumming on Tuesday. Asking to be denied on my free day really increased my chances for Tuesday; I was told that previously mistress had already decided I wasn’t going to cum. So, at a glance, my chances seem to be good…but I wouldn’t dare make any assumptions.
I have more tasks beyond that, but I think for the moment I’m just going to get to them one day at a time. Sorry for the long post, but that should catch everyone up with a lot of main things since this all started :).
Thank you very much for you request! I definitely plan on posting more and at least semi-regularly. Unfortunate I do have real-life commitments which takes up both time and energy, and this blog isn’t a top priority, but I do plan on posting more and soon. Especially since mistresses really likes reading about it here :). But messages like this will also definitely encourage me to focus on posting more.
I will say that I have so far gone a day and a half without cumming. I know this isn’t a big deal for a lot of people, but this is the longest so far for this (admittedly very new) relationship and definitely longer than I’m used to going on my own (going more than a day was rare.) As part of today’s task, I had a 50/50 chance (coin flip) of even being able to play with myself. Mistress flipped the coin for me and I am allowed to play. Because I am allowed to play, tonight’s task will involve watching a jerk-off instruction video or audio clip, whichever one I choose, although I can’t cum even if the instruction says I can. Originally, after this, I was to roll a die. If I get a 1, I get to cum. If I get a 2, I have to watch another JOI video at least 5 minutes long and then I get to cum (although I misunderstood it to say that I didn’t get to cum, and after the fact we agreed this would happen.) Anything else and I don’t cum.
Since I knew I would be chatting with mistress tonight, I thought it would be nice time to try and time the dice roll so it’ll be when I know she will be online, or to even let her do it herself. Plus this means I’ll be maximally horny already at the start of our chat. However, she pointed out that, really, the dice roll is meant for a replacement for when she is not available for me (which is most of the time). So if I’m waiting for her to be online, she might as well be deciding this for me. I’m sure this is not positive for my outlook on cumming tonight, but I am okay with this. I wouldn’t be much of a denial slut if I wasn’t, would I? :)
I am really looking forward to watching some JOI though. It’s something I started enjoy recently (and a big encouragement for taking the step in finding someone to control my orgasms). Tomorrow will be really tough though. Tomorrow is a no-touching day. And no-touching means no orgasms. And then come Tuesday the goal is to touch as much as reasonably possible, and then that night I will be at mistress’ mercy. I hopefully I will have pleased her enough over this week for her to let me cum. But she really likes me to be denied. So we’ll see :)
Generally speaking each day for me consists of completing a task for mistress. I’ve already gotten through two of those, one on Thursday and one on Friday, plus a scene from Wednesday and another on Thursday. Ahead of time we knew that today (Saturday) was to be a long day for me at work and is where most of my waking hours that day would be. Completing a task of any sort might be difficult, and being new at this, we weren’t quite sure how I would feel by this point, with the high potential of not having had an orgasm in a noticeably longer time than usual. And at this point, we have no idea what my soft and hard limits are for denial. Basically, mistress was super kind and merciful and allowed me to have a free day scheduled for today. I would be free to play with myself and orgasm as much as I want, although of course orgasm tallies would still be kept (she should be ideally cumming at least 3 times more than me) and how I please her up through Tuesday determines how she feels about me cumming on Tuesday. Nevertheless, I was still a free man.
Here’s the thing though. I was allowed to cum on Wednesday. My task on Thursday gave me a 50/50 chance of cumming, which I didn’t get to but was later permitted to during a scene with mistress (isn’t she so great?) My task on Thursday gave me a 1 in 6 chance of cumming after edging for over 10 minutes straight. I was allowed to cum. (More on all of these tasks and these results will come later). For someone meant to be teased and denied, I wasn’t yet being denied very much. This is surely not a pleasing result for mistress.
I had mentioned to mistress the possibility that I might not decide to cum on Saturday because I think it would please her. This was certainly a turn on for mistress. After more chatting about other stuff, she mentioned that maybe one day I would even be begging of chastity. I’ll admit that I never really thought this is something I could see myself doing. But now I’m seeing how much satisfaction I get from using my denial to explicitly please mistress. In my head I thought that I would plan on not cumming today, but I wasn’t sure I would follow through on my own. The solution to this became clear to me: ask mistress to deny me. So I asked to her to not let me cum today. It would be an understatement to say that mistress was more than happy to grant my wish. This was apparently something she was hoping would happen weeks or months from now. And yet here I am offering her my orgasms.
She said something to me during this time that I wasn’t completely sure about, but I certainly didn’t have a problem with, and I am now in fact is perhaps surprisingly accurate. She toyed with the idea of calling me her denial slut. Seeing her happiness that stemmed from that moment of when I asked her to deny me has so far been my favorite experience so far. My primary goal with all of this was to simply give up control of my orgasms. I am now seeing the benefits and the satisfaction of actively being denied for mistress. So, I guess it is official…I am a denial slut for mistress :).
So today I worked but not as long as expected, nor was work as busy as expected. So it’s not been the tough day that was anticipated. Waking up to the thoughts of the previous night and some wonderful teasing messages from mistress, I was rock hard and super horny. Work and real life duties has a way of zapping that out of me, which is kind of disappointing but probably actually for the best since I don’t want this kind of stuff actually interfering in my life. But as soon as I got home, my sex drive rose again. I’ve been jerking on and off much of the evening. I *could* have been reaching satisfaction by now. Maybe even more than once, which was the norm for me before I met my mistress. And yet I gave all that up. Mistress likes to imagine me all locked up in chastity. But she also wisely pointed out, who needs chastity when not only will I follow her instructions but I will beg for denial even when I am shown mercy.
Yes, I am a denial slut for mistress. And I hope she never lets me forget it.
So I feel like a lots happened in such a short amount of time, and there’s so much I want to cover! It’s becoming clear that in order to catch up on telling these stories I’m going to have to combine some things into one post that I might otherwise have split up. But such as it is. For now though, I want to at least make this post its own because it’s a bit of an overview of the relationship and doesn’t necessarily segue well with the other topics I want to cover.
For simplicity’s sake, I’m going to say that we met on Reddit. I was looking for someone to control my orgasms, and it apparently fit well into what she was looking for. After several communications back and forth it seemed very likely that we would be compatible with each other. We’ve spent and continue to spend a large amount of our communications talking this stuff out, making sure we know what does and doesn’t interest us, where our limits are, making sure I am doing okay mentally, etc. It feels very safe, very natural, and very emotionally satisfying.
Alright, so basically what we’ve been doing is, for starters, my orgasms and even my cock itself is hers to control. Normally I am allowed to touch myself, but sometimes I’m not allowed. And of course orgasms under ever happen with her permission. Mistress has decided that she wants to keep tally of our orgasms and wants to keep me at a certain ratio. She would prefer me to be above 3:1 (meaning she gets at least three orgasms to my one) but she definitely doesn’t want me below 2:1. This means she will always be having, at minimum, twice as many orgasms as me…but that is not a pleasing enough ratio. Mistress has also given me permission to post weekly results of this tally and ratio, so I intend to do that on this blog once a week. It is early so this number easily fluctuates but as of this moment, the ratio is 2.33:1. This ratio is almost certainly not going to get better for me in the next few days.
For a few reasons, we don’t often have the chance for contact all that often. After all, this is an online relationship. We both have personal lives and responsibilities and we do not live in the same time zone. So each day I am assigned a task. Currently I know nearly a week’s worth of tasks, and that will be the subject of my next post, but generally they are instructions, often involving chance, of things like how many edges to perform, if I’m allowed to cum, if I’m allowed to touch myself, etc. I’ve so far found Mistress to be incredibly witty—and devious—with these kinds of games and instructions and I look forward to explaining them farther in my next post.
Needless to say, I am expected to perform a day’s assigned task. We don’t have a specific punishment system yet but for the moment, since there is at least one day next week in which my orgasm will depend on Mistress’ will rather than chance, I have quite the incentive to fulfill my assigned tasks. And there is of course the fact that I simply do not want to disappoint my Mistress.
Thus far we have met online once a day to chat. This won’t always happen, mostly due to time zone and real life constraints, but it’s been lovely so far. There is always tons of discussion about the “meta” stuff. There is plenty of teasing. There is a good amount of just goofing off. Occasionally we play out a scene. We’re mostly going to try to keep this to about twice a week because they’re pretty involved, though there’s already been once that we kind of jumped into one unplanned :). But yeah, they take time, and they can be physically and mentally draining for me, and it is also necessary to ensure there is proper time for aftercare afterward, at least 15 minutes.
This is also usually limited be real-life constraints (such as my being at work), but we do try to occasionally send each other messages through our compatible hours. These are usually of the teasing variety, such as a description of one of Mistress’ fantasies or perhaps an optional instruction for me to follow if I have the time and the means or just a simple reminder of who owns my orgasms. The goal for the day is not for me to be constantly aroused—that would like start to affect my personal duties and responsibilities—but to just to be sometimes aroused ;).
I really need to be getting to bed and I think I’ve hit most of the basics. There’s a lot of finer details but they’re not necessarily important, or personal and not appropriate for sharing. But I welcome questions, comments, suggestions, or whatever else, and I think Mistress would appreciate it too :).
One of the signs that you may have gone too far with getting her into your chastity fantasy.
I am very pleased to say that I now have my first ever mistress :). I am also her first submissive, or “pet.” It is a non-romantic online relationship in which she essentially controls my orgasms and, really, my cock. This is enforced through simple trust that I will obey her orders and inform her if I fail to do so. So far it’s been working out wonderfully.
Up until now this blog and my other blogs have been primarily for reblogging whatever catches my eye and turns me on and if other people like it, great (and judging from having 800+ followers on this blog—which isn’t even my second biggest blog—some people do). This will still be true, especially now that mistress will be looking at it and enjoying content. But I’ve put some thought into it and talked with my mistress and have decided that I want to try and use this as a place to share some stories and experiences, of which there have already been a few. There seems to exist people who are interested in reading such things and it is my hope that this could help me contribute at least in some way to the bdsm community. Who knows, maybe I could help build up my own kind of community! It would also be one way for mistress to see my thoughts on things (feedback is extremely important to her.)
I’ll make some more posts later to describe things in more detail, it is late for me here, but I wanted to at least get this much out there and let people know what’s up and share the news :).
-Lost But Not Hopeless
It’s okay, you can cum now. Show me how much you like me.